Famine: September 2007 Archives
Mr. Thomas: So, Brian, I'm guessing you understand why I've called this one-on-one meeting this morning.
Brian: No, I'm not certain. I saw the request in my email first thing this morning, and wondered why this couldn't wait until later in the day, but go ahead.
Mr. Thomas: Well, you see, it stems from yesterday afternoon. Would you take me back to yesterday afternoon, if you would?
Brian: Well... okay. Okay, what, specifically, did you have in mind?
Mr. Thomas: Yesterday in the parking garage, as you were leaving work.
Brian: Ohhhh. Alright, yeah. Mr. Banks almost hit my truck.
Mr. Thomas: [interrupting] and he claims you almost hit him. Do you care to explain what happened, as you remember it?
Brian: Well, his Jaguar came screaming out of Level 3, he ignored the stop sign, and I slammed on the brakes.
Mr. Thomas: Why were you going so fast?
Brian: I don't think I was, really.
Mr. Thomas: And after that? You see, Brian -- and this is the crux of my concern, as well as my calling of today's meeting -- Mr. Banks is quite upset.
Brian: Well...
Mr. Thomas: Let me finish. Mr. Banks feels he saw you mouth something at him which was beyond the pale.
Brian: I didn't recognize... it was, you know, the garage. I didn't know who it was, so it was nothing personal.
Mr. Thomas: Could you clarify, Brian? What was it you said, exactly?
Brian: I think I blurted something out.
Mr. Thomas: "Queer motherfucker?"
Brian: Oh! No, no... I mean, it was a Jaguar! I was remarking on the car.
Mr. Thomas: By looking Mr. Banks in the eye and calling him a "queer motherfucker?"
Brian: No. No! It's all a misunderstanding, see. I was saying, "quality manufacture."
Mr. Thomas: Really.
Brian: You know, a Jag is a quality vehicle.
Mr. Thomas: So Mr. Banks shouldn't be concerned that you would hurl an offensive, homophobic slur at one of our senior partners out of anger?
Brian: No chance. "Quality manufacture."
Mr. Thomas: And then you, and this is his characterization, snarled at him and shouted, "bitch."
Brian: "Bigtime." Like, "bigtime vehicle, there, Mr. B!"
Mr. Thomas: He said that you looked "furious," and that you seemed satisfied with your angry outburst.
Brian: That's jealousy on my part, really. He makes at least 3 times what I do, and I had no idea his car was so great, too.
Mr. Thomas: I see. [long pause] Well, he'd like you fired, in any case. You're fired.
Brian: THAT QUEER MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!!!!
Brian: No, I'm not certain. I saw the request in my email first thing this morning, and wondered why this couldn't wait until later in the day, but go ahead.
Mr. Thomas: Well, you see, it stems from yesterday afternoon. Would you take me back to yesterday afternoon, if you would?
Brian: Well... okay. Okay, what, specifically, did you have in mind?
Mr. Thomas: Yesterday in the parking garage, as you were leaving work.
Brian: Ohhhh. Alright, yeah. Mr. Banks almost hit my truck.
Mr. Thomas: [interrupting] and he claims you almost hit him. Do you care to explain what happened, as you remember it?
Brian: Well, his Jaguar came screaming out of Level 3, he ignored the stop sign, and I slammed on the brakes.
Mr. Thomas: Why were you going so fast?
Brian: I don't think I was, really.
Mr. Thomas: And after that? You see, Brian -- and this is the crux of my concern, as well as my calling of today's meeting -- Mr. Banks is quite upset.
Brian: Well...
Mr. Thomas: Let me finish. Mr. Banks feels he saw you mouth something at him which was beyond the pale.
Brian: I didn't recognize... it was, you know, the garage. I didn't know who it was, so it was nothing personal.
Mr. Thomas: Could you clarify, Brian? What was it you said, exactly?
Brian: I think I blurted something out.
Mr. Thomas: "Queer motherfucker?"
Brian: Oh! No, no... I mean, it was a Jaguar! I was remarking on the car.
Mr. Thomas: By looking Mr. Banks in the eye and calling him a "queer motherfucker?"
Brian: No. No! It's all a misunderstanding, see. I was saying, "quality manufacture."
Mr. Thomas: Really.
Brian: You know, a Jag is a quality vehicle.
Mr. Thomas: So Mr. Banks shouldn't be concerned that you would hurl an offensive, homophobic slur at one of our senior partners out of anger?
Brian: No chance. "Quality manufacture."
Mr. Thomas: And then you, and this is his characterization, snarled at him and shouted, "bitch."
Brian: "Bigtime." Like, "bigtime vehicle, there, Mr. B!"
Mr. Thomas: He said that you looked "furious," and that you seemed satisfied with your angry outburst.
Brian: That's jealousy on my part, really. He makes at least 3 times what I do, and I had no idea his car was so great, too.
Mr. Thomas: I see. [long pause] Well, he'd like you fired, in any case. You're fired.
Brian: THAT QUEER MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!!!!
